Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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