My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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