youre lurking in front of me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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