Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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