Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
