Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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