hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
