Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
