My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
