Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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