Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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