New invention idea: vibrating tampons
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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