She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
