You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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