Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
