It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
