I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
