do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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