a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
