I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
