porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
