I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
