dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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