Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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