i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
