why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
