summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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