It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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