Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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