question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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