this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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