Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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