i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize