just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
