Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
