i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize