____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
