Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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