I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
