I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
