Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
