ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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