You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize