you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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