my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
