just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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