Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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