in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
