Tell her she can't have a vagina
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
