Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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