would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
