My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
