i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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