It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
