Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
