i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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