can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
