WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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