If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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