dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
