U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
40s are totally the cure
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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