my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
