No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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