Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
