if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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